Create.

A little bit of creativity on a Sunday night.

I bought this fabric on my Spotlight adventure a few weeks ago with the intention of making a cushion for Miss Kayla's bedroom.

But changed my mind when I found this tutorial.

Now our lovely stroller has a liner. Hopefully it will stay slightly cleaner this way.

Reflections.

I'm sure that as toddlers grow and become little children they seem to become funnier and funnier. All of a sudden they are coming out with priceless expressions and funky dance moves. They start to understand the world around them and respond in their own unique little ways. They are plain cute.

They also know just how to push your buttons. Just how to act to really get under your skin. They throw tantrums, socks and toys.

They show you parts of yourself you really wish didn't exist.

The thing about children is that they learn from what you do. How you interact. How you respond to problems.

Sometimes we forget that we aren't just teaching them 'please', 'thank you' and to 'count to ten'. 

They are watching, listening absorbing everything. And right when you least expect it they'll let you know just how closely they have been watching.

Children are the ultimate mirror.

And sometimes the reflection is kinda scary.

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Sunday Citar.

This is part of a communal sharing of inspiration and beauty called Sunday Citar.

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Hair.

I have a wonderful hairdresser friend who almost always nails it when it comes to my hair requests.

I dyed my hair last night and went to see her this morning for a little bit of cutting action.

Once again she has proved invaluable.

Love you xx 

Operation; Think Happy. Week 2

I can't believe it's already been a week.

My seven things for this week.

It's Eli's birthday this week (today actually). This very obviously makes me happy. He is growing up so quickly and is so special to us. He is our 'almost' honeymoon baby. I wanted him so desperately and was planning him for months before we even started trying. He is such a delight. An old soul. Perfection in a little body. And now he's 2.

Sleep. I have been so tired this week. It's pretty insane. My lovely husband has been helping out heaps so that I can get some rest and hopefully some energy back.

I think I have been generally more positive this week. Thats something to be happy about, right?

Sexy bum jeans. I love jeans. This week I started wearing them again for the first time post Kayla. They are a few sizes bigger then I used to wear but that doesn't matter. I've decided they look HOT anyway.

Revelations of love. Even when they are not directed at me. I love hearing about love.

With birthdays comes birthday cake. Eli is having 3 cakes this year. Yes, 3. He is spoilt. The first one will be this morning at playgroup. The boys can hardly contain their excitement, it's contagious. 

Pretty pictures. Their are so many beautiful images out there. I think I need to dedicate a wall in my home to beautiful prints.

Join in Operation Think Happy.

Apron.

Do you wear an apron?

I always think of aprons as something kinda pointless. Yes it prevents you from getting flour and crud on your clothes. But when your constantly covered in baby spit in doesn't seem worth the effort.

But yet there is something so charmingly domestic about them that almost makes it appealing.

Recently as part of my quest for self discovery I have been planning a little bit of "upkeep".

Waxing, hair dye and possibly even a spray tan.

As odd as it sounds, this fits in perfectly with aprons.

Perhaps the next step should be to find myself one that is so charming I can't possibly resist.

If I'm going to the effort to try and appear like more then a dirty sleep deprived mum then maybe I should also attempt to leave the house with no baking mess on my clothes.

I'm sure this makes no sense in anyones head besides mine, but thats not the point.

The point was, I think I want to buy an apron. 

The end.

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Gravity.

I am completely obsessed with this song today. I just can't get it out of my head.
It's kinda appropriate to where I am at the moment.  So I thought I'd share.
Enjoy.

A Real Mum.

Often I don't feel like a real mum.

I'm not entirely sure what a real mum even is.

But it's not me.

And in some ways I hope that it never is. 

I hope I never fully grow up and can laugh with my kids about crazy things forever.

Every now and then I do something that proves that no matter what I think, I am a real mum.

Kayla is allergic to cows milk.

This has made for a incredibly stressful three months.

Today for the first time in a long while she pooped with out even a sound.

No screaming with an upset tummy for hours before hand.

It's a miracle in our daily lives.

It means she's responding to the change in milk and isn't suffering as much anymore.

I remember when I was just a little girl my own mum laughing and complaining that once people enter the world of babies they feel inclined to make phone calls just to talk about poop.

I always thought it was ridiculous. 

Not today.

Today I was a real mum.

Today I rang my very best friend Liz and told her in excitement that Kayla had pooped.

Today I am a mum.

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Believe.

What do you believe in?

Once I was so undoubtedly sure.

Then something happened. I'm not sure what it was, but suddenly I was questioning everything.

That is not a pleasant experience. Suddenly having everything you think you knew taken away and replaced with... doubt?

I have been going to church in some form or another for something in line with 10 years.

I have called myself a Christian for about 6. 

I knew who I was.

Beloved daughter.

Princess.

Warrior.

I had been through enough to know I could turn to God to be my strength.

My wisdom.

To restore my soul.

Sometime at the end of last year I stopped seeing myself as His daughter.

I stopped turning to Him for strength. 

I was no longer searching for wisdom.

And the worst bit? I didn't even care. 

I wanted to forget everything I knew and be 'normal'.

I thought that maybe if I could forget then things would be easier. I could be stupid and reckless and not care about the consequences. 

Only I didn't do anything stupid or reckless because I suppose I couldn't pretend I thought it was right.

I couldn't get past being me.

I couldn't, wouldn't, didn't actually want to.

Basically I was lost.

I didn't know who I was, what I believed in or my place in the world.

Lost.

Thats the only word that fits.

I don't want to be lost anymore.

I want to wake up each morning with the knowledge that He is with me.

I want to feel His presence in my life.

I want my daughter to grow up knowing that she to is a princess in the kingdom of heaven.. 

I want to be me again.

Only I don't actually know how to get back there.

As the deer pants for streams of water,
       so my soul pants for you, O God.

Psalm 42:1

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Sunday Citar.

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; 

for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; 

and for poise, walk with the knowledge 

that you are never alone.”

Audrey Hepburn.

This is part of a communal sharing of inspiration and beauty called Sunday Citar.

Oopps.

One of my favorite wedding gifts was a set of insanely beautiful sheets. They are the perfect kind that get softer every time you wash them. Even three years later I still get excited about using them. Although they still feel fantastic they were starting to look a bit discoloured.

   

So on Wednesday during my Spotlight adventure I decided to grab some fabric dye and refresh my favourite sheets. I also decided to be adventures.I purposely chose 'flamingo pink' thinking it would be a fun way to add a little colour to the room. Having never dyed anything as large as a sheet before I didn't even stop to think about what would be involved. It was to big. There wasn't enough dye. Or water. Or room to stir it around to make sure it was being evenly covered.

The result.

It's adventurous and it's colourful.

Kinda psychedelic don't ya think?

Thinking.

Today must be the day of linking to other blogs. 

The stunning Chantelle at fat mum slim has had me thinking all day.

This morning she wrote about who we are when we take off our mum/wife/friend and encouraged us to think about who we are.

Then I sat there, staring at the screen.

Trying desperately to think of an answer.

I couldn't.

That's why I started this in the first place.

I wanted to find out who I am.

I wanted to find out what life would be like if I actively searched out the positive moments.

I wanted to know the answers.

Isn't that what your twenties are for anyway?

Finding yourself.

I often say I can't wait to be in my thirties and have a better idea of who I am.

Today I realized I can't take that long, I will go insane first.

I've never liked to do things the normal way.

My twenties aren't going to be like those of lot's of my friends.

They most won't involve European adventures or hundreds of late nights out dancing.

But they will be full of self discovery.

I am determined and notoriously stubborn.

I will work this out. And I'll work it out with plenty of time to spare.

Operation; Think Happy.

I've been reading Holly Homemaker write her seven things every Thursday and think it's time I join in.

So here goes. 

7 things that made me happy this week.

• Listening to my baby girl and her giggle, that sound is like listening to angels sing. 

• Making the discovery that somewhere inside of me I do actually have it in me to be the mother I have always longed to be.

• Another discovery, the realization that I actually enjoy reading embarrassing soppy romance books, and that I don't actually care.

• Growing a lovely friendship with my beautiful baby sister (is 18 still a baby sister??).

• Watching as my darling baby girl finally starts to respond to her change in formula. Suddenly the super cranky little miss is evolving into the princess of smiles.

• Making the grand decision to take more care of myself.

• Seeing my best friend Liz finally take the leap and do what has been on her heart to do for an awfully long time, even though it breaks my heart (and I am not so secretly hoping it doesn't work out so I can keep her for myself).

Excitment.

I can feel it calling me.

The almost over whelming urge to create something, paint and redecorate.

I love it when I get this feeling.

You just know something fun is going to happen.

And it's going to happen soon.

I have many more important things to do this week.

But it doesn't matter.

I have very little self control. the desire to create will win in the end.

The best solution?

Rush through the mornings housework, cancel todays play-date and load the kids up for an adventure involving Spotlight, the Lifeline super store and Bunnings.

I'm not crazy. I know the kids are not going to enjoy this trip, but i can't help it. 

Besides i will find a project for them as well.

It's going to be a fantastic day.

What are your plans for today?

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Perfection

Normally I hate Mondays. 

They are normally full of chaos, tantrums and tears.

Don't know why, but it happens every Monday without fail.

Not today. 

Today was one of those perfect days every mother dreams about.

Happy children,

Fun and games,

Outside play,

Synchronized napping (even from Noah, who never has day sleeps).

Not even mess to clean up.

Everything was so perfect I might even make pudding tonight.

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Sunday Citar

No sooner met but they looked,

 no sooner looked than they loved than they sighed,

 no sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason,

 no sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy."

William Shakespeare


I have a secret obsession with Shakespeare quotes. So why not embrace it. It is Valentines day after all. And no one does a better love quote then William.


Happy Valentines day xx

This is part of a communal sharing of inspiration and beauty called Sunday Citar

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Gifts.

Somehow it snuck up on me. 

I heard people talking about it but it never sunk in.

My in-laws kept asking me questions but they all seemed about things way off in the distance.

I forgot.

Ok, I admit it straight up.

I forgot that we were given a voucher for christmas. 

That the lovely in-laws had booked us a romantic weekend away, that they are taking the two wild ones and leaving us with just baby, that they are giving us time to ourselves.

It's Valentines weekend and we are going away.

Two nights at a hotel. 

Breakfast buffet. 

Air-con.

No screaming children.

I can't wait. 

Brilliant.

I stumbled upon something fantastic tonight.

Something that totally made my day.

But my camera is broken and so I can't take a picture to show you.

I will find a way though.

But for now you'll just have to be satisfied looking at this pretty picture, that I didn't take, instead.

Oh and I redecorated with pretty things from Shabby Blogs. Do you like it?  

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Profanities.

Generally speaking I like to think I'm a calm, peaceful kinda soul.

Might not be true, but thats besides the point.

Generally speaking I like to think of myself that way and that's all that matters.

Not today.

Today I could use a whole string of profanities.

Only I don't actually know that many.

Today my real estate agent pissed me off.

She basically called me a bad mum to my face...well on the phone.

I hung up and cried for an hour, went to the shops and spent way to much money.

Then I came home and was informed that this particular real estate agent is just a bitch all the time.

So I'm trying to get over it.

But first I have to put it out there.

F*ck you, COW!

There. I feel much better already.

(Sorry if I offended anyone. I really am a nice person I promise.)

xx

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Tomorrow.

Shopping with a friend today I notice a sign outside one of the stores, it read:

The future starts today, not tomorrow.

Pope John Paul II

I haven't stopped thinking about it all afternoon. 

It's so simple, almost too simple really.

 It's something I've heard a million times before in a million different variations. 

I guess the reason being that it's true.

I can't help thinking about how many times I think I will start something 'tomorrow'.

Tomorrow I will be happy, do craft, start a new project.

Tomorrow I will start a new housework routine.

Tomorrow I will start exercising.

Tomorrow I will take photos of my friends.

Even stupid little things. Tomorrow I will hang my clothes up as soon as I get changed.

Tomorrow I will actually make my bed.

(can you tell being tidy is a bit of a problem in this house?)

What I'm struggling to work out is, why is this? Why don't we just decide to do something and then, well, just do it? Really, it seems more odd the more I think about it. I know in theory it's something to do with the start of a new day blah, blah, blah. But it still doesn't quite sit right. So?

So my only option now that I'm aware of how much this bugs me is to do something about it. From this moment on I am going to do my darndest  to stop putting things off. To do things when I get an idea, or at least make a concerted effort to plan an actual time to get it done instead of just plonking it onto my mental to-do list. In the next few days I'm going to attempt to write down that mental to-do list so I can start ticking things off. Yes, infact I think I will do that tomorrow.  

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Manic Monday

walking in the rain

the wiggles

screaming baby

allergies

the wiggles

sticky floors 

nap time

lifeline bin

the wiggles

splashing in the tub

toddler tantrums

the wiggles

everyone sleeping

steaming hot tea

bliss

...gotta love Mondays...

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Sunday Citar

If we could see the miracle of a single

flower clearly, 


our whole life would change.
                   - Buddha








this is part of a communal sharing of inspiration and beauty called sunday citar


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Lost!

Sometimes I like to retreat into my head.

When I'm stressed or having a tough week, I tend to disappear off the radar. 

During these times I don't like to leave the house, go outside or talk to people. 

Problem is that leaving the house, going outside and talking to the people I love, are the more often then not the things that help pull me back into the world. 

This past week I saw me lost and wondering.

I didn't leave the house. I did the best I could to avoid the people who would notice. 

Only by avoiding they did notice.

Sometimes the only way to find the path again is with a bottle of wine and a late night of girly giggles.

The path is in no way straight.

But I can feel it under my feet again.

With a little bit of love I'm pretty sure I'll see it soon as well. 

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L.O.V.E.

love: [luhv] noun, verb, loved, lov-ing


–noun

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour. Have you ever had that moment when you realise how self-centered you actually are? For me that moment hit this morning. And it wasn't a quietly creep up on you kind of thing. It was defiantly a hit you square between the eyes, momentary blindness thing.  Last year I was pregnant. I was allowed to be totally self absorbed, right? And besides, I wasn't completely unaware of what was happening outside of my own little bubble. I spent many a night laying awake worrying about you. Yes, you.  My darling friend. Your last year was heart breakingly, gut wrenchingly horrible. And whilst you were in my thoughts often, I don't recall ever taking any action to make your day a little more bright. I am so incredibly sorry. I love you much more then you could possibly know.  Unfortunalty I can't go back and do those days over. But I can make you smile today. image image