Rocking It.

This morning Noah had his first pull blown scream all through the shopping centre hissy fit. Crying, sitting on the floor, screaming. He didn't want to go home. He wanted to stay and play. He broke the rules over and over again so I pulled out the tough mum card and we left. I felt horrible, but I think I handled it quite well. I didn't loss my calm. I didn't yell. I just kept walking. Holding him. Talking softly. 

Eventually we made it to the care. 

After some struggle I had all three strapped in their seats and we were headed home.

Normally I listen to either the Christian radio station while driving.

Not today.
I didn't feel like listening to the monotone babble that was currently being poured out.

This is were the fun began. 

I put on my favorite mindless, relaxing sing-along CD and to my delight Noah started singing along with me. 

It was absolutely priceless.

I stole a glance at him through the rear view mirror only to see him pulling the most hilarious rock n roll face.

If only I had a camera for that moment.

I've been laughing all afternoon thinking about it. 

{image source}

Sorry.

It seems I need to offer my apologies. 

I've been playing with different ways of linking to my image sources.

I received a comment yesterday about my photography.

I feel terrible.

The picture commented on was not mine.

I'm sorry if I was misleading.

 I will make sure I'm nice and obvious about my image sources from here on out.

   

Sunday Citar.

Strange how a teapot can represent at the same time the comforts of solitude and the pleasures of company.  

Author Unknown

This is part of a communal sharing of inspiration and beauty called Sunday Citar.

{image source}

Party time.

weheartit.com

When I think back on my life I don't believe I'll have regrets.

Not about anything I've done yet at least.

I seriously love the direction my life has taken.

It's not something I ever expected.

I love that my mistakes resulted in the beautiful young boy currently asleep in my bed.

When I think back to the day I realised there was a possibility that the reason I'd spent the last 6 weeks throwing up was because I was 2 months pregnant, I never thought that I would end up here.

A gorgeous almost four year old asleep in my bed.

My husband, love, soulmate, asleep on the couch.

The son I so longed to join our family asleep in his cot.

And the princess, who decided to join our crazy family long before mummy and daddy thought to consider more children, asleep in my arms.

When I first became a mummy Friday nights were the worst.

I loved my darling boy.

I didn't want to leave him for a second.

But part of me wondered if I was missing something.

While I was at home nursing my new baby, my friends were out doing all kinds of crazy, fun, party shaped things. 

I'll admit it, I was jealous.

I was jealous of everyone who got to go out dancing.

Everyone who's tummy still looked the same as it did in high school.

Everyone who didn't have to wake up during the night and got to sleep in on Saturdays.

I was jealous of my friends who got to fall in love, have the fairy tale wedding and then go down the baby road with someone holding their hand.

I felt alone.

I wasn't alone.

I had my son.

I had my future husband, who somehow went against the 19 year old he was and chose us.

He chose us despite the fact that I had made a mistake.

A mistake that would change my life.

And his too once he decided to come along side us.

A mistake that would cuddle into us at night.

A mistake whom I'd cherish forever.

A blessing that I don't think I could ever comprehend.

Now I don't notice Friday nights so much.

Sometimes I go out.

Mostly I don't.

But now it doesn't matter.

I guess that's how you tell that you've grown up.

The things that used to matter don't even register now.

Now my perfect Friday night is this.

Surrounded in perfect, peaceful, sleeping LOVE.

Nowdays I am content.

{Mostly.}

I realise the blessings in my life.

It's so full of love and laughter I could burst.

Yep, I am perfectly content.

weheartit.com

  

Drowning.

We finally have somewhere to move to.

So now begins the crazy 2 weeks that proceeds every move.

Nana left today, so it's kinda 1 thing less to take care of although I already miss her so much. She was hardly any trouble at all.

So looking after Nana has been replaced with packing chaos.

I'm trying to be organised about it.

But it would seriously help if the other family members weren't such grubs.

I believe everyone else in this house is using "we're packing" as an excuse to make a huge mess and not do anything to clean it up.

Granted 3 out of the 5 family members are under the age of 4, so they can't really help it. 

But the older one?? 

The husband shaped one?

 I do wonder what he is thinking. 

Perhaps he is trying to drown me in boxes!

{weheartit.com}

Inspired.

{ weheartit.com }

Sunday Citar.

This is part of a communal sharing of inspiration and beauty called Sunday Citar.

{ weheartit.com }

Photobooks.

Today while covered in a flu coloured haze, I have ventured for the first time into the world of the photobook.

I've decided to start with Kayla's and work backwards to Noah. I didn't realise how many decisions there would be to make.

Seriously. Even just deciding what time period to include is a task in itself. Then there's colours and layouts to edit. This is going to take much longer then I anticipated.

The perfectionist in me is rearing it's head.

It will be worth it in the end though, right?

{ weheartit.com }

Inspired.

weheartit.com

Three for me.

Three delightful things I have stumbled across recently that I would love to have just for me.

1. Birdhouse Egg Timer from Huset. I have a thing for cute kitchen accessories and have only recently started to actually collect them rather then just look.

2. All Sweetness and Lights, what a perfect description. They would be just perfect in our new house (even though we haven't actually found one yet). 

3. I can so envision myself rocking this fascinator. (Not half up myself)?

 

Check out Buttons by Lou Lou for more Three for Me.

Friends.

I have a most wonderful friend.

She answers her phone in the middle of the night.

Lets me wake her up first thing in the morning to chat.

She comes and plays with the kiddlets.

She is ALWAYS there for me.

Yesterday she read my post about being overwhelmed.

This morning she came over and cleaned my house for me.

Now she's driving my Nana to her doctors check up.

Seriously, the greatest friend ever.

Love you.

xx

Happy Anniversary.

Three years ago today I married the love of my life.

I was so very blessed to find someone so special so early in my life.

Happy anniversary darling.

xx

I Just Don't Know.

Today is one of those days. 

You know the ones. 

Those days were you literally want to pull your hair out. 

Cry. 

Or lock yourself in the bedroom.

Days like today don't change the fact you wouldn't give your kids up for the world. But they do make you (or at least me) feel like a completely incompetent mother. 

I remember when I was a child my mother would often ask if I had laid in bed last night thinking of ways to drive her insane. This morning I know exactly what she was talking about.

I'm having some serious, I don't know how to do this moments.

I have nearly lost it and sat crying.

I have been tough mumma, calm mumma, happy mumma, soft mumma, cuddly mumma, cranky mumma.

None of these have worked. 

I have no idea what to do.

I have no idea how to handle anymore crying.

I have sat pinching the top of my nose willing the headache to subside and the screaming children to somehow magically turn into the gorgeous young things on Panadol boxes.

My children do not look like that when they're sick, no amount of Panadol would achieve this look. 

They do not look like that ever.

OK. Perhaps when they are sleeping.

Somehow though I know that I have changed.

At some point I have grown.

I have realized that days like these are not my fault.

Children are little people with great big emotions.

They have days when they feel crap.

They have days when they want impossible things.

When they are so over the snot and don't know how to express themselves.

So they kick and scream and drive everyone up the wall.

If I was a perfect mumma, i would somehow find away to teach them about expressing themselves today.

But I'm not a perfect mumma.

So instead I will sit and give cuddles.

I will continue to refuse to give them left over easter eggs.

Somehow we will all survive.

Lets just hope that Mike doesn't trip on all the mess when he gets home.

image source

Happy Mail.

My Happy Mail finally arrived today all the way from Zoe (Conversation Pieces) in Scotland. I'm so happy, which is of course the whole point.

Sunday Citar.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Kahlil Gibran

This is part of a communal sharing of inspiration and beauty called Sunday Citar.

image source

Create.

Reading over at 3 Sheets has me all inspired. I had all ready been thinking about all the new things I'm going to do once we finally move (speaking of which actually applying for somewhere would properly help things along.) I had decided that we needed new artwork and my favorite kinda is the budget homemade kind. Now I've decided that new 'big boy' quilts are in order for the young men of the family and a nice one for my bed wouldn't go astray either.

And then after I've been all creative like, I could walk around like this.

Jenny Style.

I have a bit of a soft spot for Jenny Humphrey from Gossip Girl. So, OK her character is rather annoying but yes pulls out some great style.

Tattooed.

I got my first tattoo this week. I love love love it.

Psalm 42:1

As the deer pants for streams of water,

so my soul pants for you, O God.

My favorite verse. In french.

Dream.

I'm so tired tonight.

Nothing new. 

These pictures are oh so tempting.

What I wouldn't give to spend an uninterrupted day in bed.

images care of weheartit

Doctor come quick.

I have 2 sick kids home from kindy today and one cranky constipated baby. 

She'll hate me when she's older if she ever finds out I wrote that about her but it's a fact.

Today my Nana came home from hospital.

Having the kids home has changed the plans a little but has been mostly easy to manage so far.

Noah has been oh so delightful.

Helping Nana to open doors, holding her crutches.

Every ten minutes or so he walks over before softly asking:

"Can I help you Nana?" 

It melts my heart and fills my eyes with happy tears.

He could kick any doctors ass when it comes to bedside manner.

I am positively overflowing with pride at my sons caring behavior today.

image source

House Hunting.

House hunting seriously sucks. 

Am over it already.

Have looked at a few places, but none that tick our essential boxes. 

It's driving me insane. 

Right now I feel like throwing Mike's drum-kit out the window so I don't have to factor in room for it. 

Hmmmm, seriously tempting.

image source

Luxury.

I feel like a lady of luxury tonight. 

Grocery shopping whilst sitting with a cup of tea, chocolate biccies and a double episode of Brothers and Sisters.

Oh I love the internet.

image source

Sunday Citar.

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.  

~Anthony J. D'Angelo

Definitely need to provide your own sunshine around here at the moment. Haven't had a day entirely free of rain in about 3 weeks. It beautiful, but things are starting to get rather sloppy.

This is part of a communal sharing of inspiration and beauty called Sunday Citar.

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Happy.

I think this is a cute song.

Where are they?

Ask any mum and she will tell you, the tiredness reaches a whole new level once you have kids. Even when they start to sleep better, it's still there, lingering in the background, the need to sleep. You never know what it's like to be completely and utterly exhausted until you're a mum. Looking after other peoples kids does not give the same results.

Does 3 kids 3 and under make me three times as tired as my friends with "only" one child. I dunno. And I don't actually care. It's not a competition. Anyway, the point is, that I'm pretty much used to this life. I'm used to having various degree's of no energy. Some days I push through and others I don't. Our house is constantly in various states of messiness regardless of how much energy I put into keeping it tidy. I try not to let this bother me. I love the days when everything is kinda shiny but regardless; the washing always gets done. Dishes never stay dirty for more then 24hours. There is always food on time for the kidlets. So it's not the end of the world.

What does bother me though is that this past week I have been incredibly forgetful. I'm sure I've been told at least 5 times what days my friend Liz is working. I forget what I was doing 10 minutes ago. I forget to bring the bag of clean clothes thats sitting by the door in to my nana. That's it. I'll blame it on my trips to the hospital. I'm sure I left some brain cells there.

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Operation; Think Happy. Week 5.

OK so technically this is week 6, but I missed a week so I'm just going by where the numbers say I'm at.

I'm always surprised by how quickly Thursday comes along and how easy it is for me to think of 7 happy/positive things.

This week I am so thankful for the health of those I love. My nana being in hospital has really put in perspective how lucky we all are to have our health. As hard as it is watching as she learns how to walk again, I can't help but be grateful that it wasn't something life threatening. I am lucky to have made it this far in life without experiencing the death of someone close.

I tried my hand at push ups, for the first time since high school, this morning and managed to pump out 10. This is a HUGE deal to me and definitely a reason to smile. 

It's easter this coming weekend (ok, like tomorrow). Easter is one of my favorite times of year. Without easter everything I believe wouldn't even exist.

STOP. THINK.

Jesus died for US. So that WE could have eternal life. So that WE could know HIM. How awesome is that.

We've had constant rain for nearly two weeks. Everything is beautiful and green. The weather is beautiful. It's perfect.

ABC Kids. Woohoo. We never understand how great it is to pee on your own until your a mum.

While my Nana is up we have Noah sleeping on a mattress on our bedroom floor. I am seriously loving it. He sleeps so much better and later. I have actually been getting a few 7am wake ups. It's fabulous. Plus I love the cuddles I get first thing in the morning when he climbs into my bed. A perfect way to wake up.

Blogs. I just love reading blogs. They are fantastic.

xx

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What in the world.

I sat down this morning to write my 'Operation Think Happy' post and got distracted checking my inbox. A friend had sent me a link to a news story that stopped me in my tracks. 

The headline read: Teen sells stepsister, 7, for party sex. 

That was enough to change my mood. I can't write a Think Happy post while I'm reading a story like this.

I know the world is full of horror stories.

I know. 

I know that people are being abused everyday.

I know that people are being used everyday.

I know that people are being sold everyday.

I know that this is a problem.

But this story. It's all to much.

I want to wrap this little girl up in love. 

I want her to know that this is not right.

That she has been betrayed.

I want her to know that she is worth more then she could possibley know, and that she is so perfect even in her brokenness.  

I want her to know that her stepsister did something wrong, but that she still deserves love. Her stepsister is broken too.

I want to tell them that there is a God that loves them.

A God who wept when he saw this happening.

A God who is waiting to take them in his arms and whisper in their ears a quiet but strong;

"I love YOU, I am here for YOU, I gave up my son for YOU."

It's easter this weekend.

Everyone knows the story. I dont' feel the need to share it.

But not everyone realizes that it was ALL for them.
It breaks my heart.

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