Again.

I've been rather slack these last few weeks. 

That's what happens when I hit these dark times. I'm so over struggling with this stupid depression crap. Like really over it. I don't even get it. If I had some major traumatic childhood or something then at least there would be an obvious cause. Instead I'm just depressed. For no apparent reason. No matter how many times I fight it off it always comes back.

It pushes me down.

I fight back.

It knocks me down.

I get back up.

Again and again and again.

Like I said. OVER IT. 

I seriously hate that my kids have their lives effected by this.

I wanted their childhood to be filled with sunshine and lollipops and rainbows.Not a mother who bursts into tears for no reason and struggles to leave the house or even get out of bed some days. 

This is not what our lives are meant to look like. This seriously needs to change. It's time that this changes. But how many times have I said that?

I just want to scream at this thing F@#% OFF. Let me live. Like really live. Please.