Happy.

image via weheartit

Miracle.

Do you ever have those moments when you realise how incredible life can actually be?

I'm having one of those nights tonight.

I'm seeing the little miracles that happen everyday.

I'm seeing how fragile life is, and how lucky we are to have the things that we do.

 I have three amazingly beautiful children who drive me completely up the wall.

Seriously. 

They do.

It's not at all uncommon to hear me wonder out loud why I actually bother.

I know why.

Because they are my everything.

I live in this place thats famous for it's beaches.

The sunshine.

The wildlife.

Yeh? Whatever.

Have you ever seen the beauty or smelt the smoke of sugar cane being burnt off?

Truely it's magic.

I just spent the night laughing with my girlfriends enjoying a stupid movie.

This is a true miracle for me.

I never believed I'd have true friends, but somehow over the last five years of living in this paradise I've managed to surround myself with beautiful people.

How lucky I am to realise.

A very special one of those friends is quickly heading in the direction of having a dream come true.

I am so excited for her that I can barely contain myself.

I'm fairly certain that soon I'm going to be doing a happy dance for her in my living room.

(And Miss, you better believe it will be some hell of a happy dance cause I am so believing for you in this. x)

I dunno. Guess I'm feeling kinda gushy tonight.

Happiness is good though.

Sure beats the other options.

(pictures via weheartit)

Oh, and stars kinda rock as well.

xx

The Vision. Part 2.

When looking for pictures for the previous post I found several that touched a cord. 

I couldn't leave them floating in cyber space without sharing them on here.

all images via weheartit

The Vision.

I have a vision of my life.

How I live it.

The values I hold.

Priorities I have.

I have a vision of morals I want to instill in my children.

Things I want to ensure they believe about themselves.
The moments I want to have with them.

I have a vision of my marriage.
Of what makes us, us.
Of the "rules" we follow, and the ones we break.
Of the things that define us.

My life is not living up to the vision.
At the moment it is completely wrong.
Not in the: 'We didn't expect this but it's pretty darn good way.'
No, at the moment it is ok. Just plain old boring ok.
We are getting by.

Or we were.
Until today.
Today I snapped.
I packed up some things and ran away from home.
I broke down.
I yelled, screamed, and cried by eyes out.

I ran away from home once before.
I can't remember how old I was.
I think it was somewhere around 9.
Anyway, when I was somewhere around 9 I ran away from home.
I planned to stay away forever or until my parents realized I was gone and cried and came looking for me.
I went and hid behind the back fence so I would be able to hear when they started to panic.
I never heard. I;m not sure they even noticed I was gone.
I must have hidden out behind that fence for a whole 15 minutes before I got bored and came home.
I honestly can't even remember what happened next. Obviously I didn't make for a very dramatic runaway when I was 9.

So today was my second runaway experience.
I spent the whole day learning some new things about myself and longing to be home with the one person who always, no matter what, manages to make me feel better.
Our marriage may not fit with the vision. It my not meet my standards. It may not be great. But it's defiantly got potential.
So sometime after dinner when the kids started to get restless I packed up my ego and headed home.

At this point in time nothing has technically changed.

My life is still the same.

My kids are still overwhelming.

My marriage needs still needs some work.

But something on the inside has changed.

I've let it out. That means things can start to change.

We've started. And thats what counts right?

That you start.
Cause the truth is, there is no end.

Life goes on.
Your children will still be your children even when they're 30.
And love doesn't just disappear when the marriage is harder then expected.

The vision is the goal.
I won't give up.
I refuse.

Life is hard, but it will be great.

xx



all images via weheartit


.

Operation; Think Happy. Week 5.

OK so technically this is week 6, but I missed a week so I'm just going by where the numbers say I'm at.

I'm always surprised by how quickly Thursday comes along and how easy it is for me to think of 7 happy/positive things.

This week I am so thankful for the health of those I love. My nana being in hospital has really put in perspective how lucky we all are to have our health. As hard as it is watching as she learns how to walk again, I can't help but be grateful that it wasn't something life threatening. I am lucky to have made it this far in life without experiencing the death of someone close.

I tried my hand at push ups, for the first time since high school, this morning and managed to pump out 10. This is a HUGE deal to me and definitely a reason to smile. 

It's easter this coming weekend (ok, like tomorrow). Easter is one of my favorite times of year. Without easter everything I believe wouldn't even exist.

STOP. THINK.

Jesus died for US. So that WE could have eternal life. So that WE could know HIM. How awesome is that.

We've had constant rain for nearly two weeks. Everything is beautiful and green. The weather is beautiful. It's perfect.

ABC Kids. Woohoo. We never understand how great it is to pee on your own until your a mum.

While my Nana is up we have Noah sleeping on a mattress on our bedroom floor. I am seriously loving it. He sleeps so much better and later. I have actually been getting a few 7am wake ups. It's fabulous. Plus I love the cuddles I get first thing in the morning when he climbs into my bed. A perfect way to wake up.

Blogs. I just love reading blogs. They are fantastic.

xx

image source

  

  

Operation; Think Happy. Week 4?

I've lost count.

I have no idea how long I've been doing this. I'll have to go back and check.

I can see that doing this is helping me to 'think happy' in my everyday.

And yes, it's Friday, so I'm late in posting.

Time away. I had the most amazing weekend. I know I've already said that it was amazing, but it really, truely was. Not just the conference but all the in-between bits as well.

My darling husband. He looks after me well, and encourages my trips away.

Feeling funky. While we were away I felt like I looked good, every day. Thats a huge deal for me.

Family. I have my Nana and my aunt staying with me at the moment. It's great, I didn't realise how much I would have in common with my aunt.

Fresh donuts, with cream.....yummmm

Liz. She makes me happy.

Having an hour to myself to catch up on blogging. A quiet house, cup of tea, Liz on the phone and the net. I'm so in my element.

Join in Operation Think Happy.

Operation; Think Happy. Week 3.

Thursday already.

7 things that make me happy.

Finally feeling like the change in me I've waiting for is coming. After months of aimless wondering I can feel the Spirit of God pulling me back to him. Mundane daily activities are so different when you spend the days swimming in His love.

My new fringe. I am seriously loving it. Love the confidence a new hair cut brings.

Speaking of confidence boosts. The flirting pizza guy was defiantly a confidence booster. 

Succeeding at making Eli's lion birthday cake. I was so nervous but it turned out perfectly.

Friends. I have the greatest friends. I love them so much. In high school I thought I was doomed to never be able to make friends. Turns out high school kids suck. Not me.

Thomas the Tank Engine DVD's. It's so great showering by myself for 2 minutes in the morning while the boys are distracted by the 'very useful engine'. 

Expectation. This time next week I'll be leaving for the airport for a girls weekend in Sydney. Colour Conference. Friends. Seeing my mum and sister. Getting to wear boots. So many things to look forward to.

Join in Operation Think Happy.

    

Operation; Think Happy. Week 2

I can't believe it's already been a week.

My seven things for this week.

It's Eli's birthday this week (today actually). This very obviously makes me happy. He is growing up so quickly and is so special to us. He is our 'almost' honeymoon baby. I wanted him so desperately and was planning him for months before we even started trying. He is such a delight. An old soul. Perfection in a little body. And now he's 2.

Sleep. I have been so tired this week. It's pretty insane. My lovely husband has been helping out heaps so that I can get some rest and hopefully some energy back.

I think I have been generally more positive this week. Thats something to be happy about, right?

Sexy bum jeans. I love jeans. This week I started wearing them again for the first time post Kayla. They are a few sizes bigger then I used to wear but that doesn't matter. I've decided they look HOT anyway.

Revelations of love. Even when they are not directed at me. I love hearing about love.

With birthdays comes birthday cake. Eli is having 3 cakes this year. Yes, 3. He is spoilt. The first one will be this morning at playgroup. The boys can hardly contain their excitement, it's contagious. 

Pretty pictures. Their are so many beautiful images out there. I think I need to dedicate a wall in my home to beautiful prints.

Join in Operation Think Happy.

Operation; Think Happy.

I've been reading Holly Homemaker write her seven things every Thursday and think it's time I join in.

So here goes. 

7 things that made me happy this week.

• Listening to my baby girl and her giggle, that sound is like listening to angels sing. 

• Making the discovery that somewhere inside of me I do actually have it in me to be the mother I have always longed to be.

• Another discovery, the realization that I actually enjoy reading embarrassing soppy romance books, and that I don't actually care.

• Growing a lovely friendship with my beautiful baby sister (is 18 still a baby sister??).

• Watching as my darling baby girl finally starts to respond to her change in formula. Suddenly the super cranky little miss is evolving into the princess of smiles.

• Making the grand decision to take more care of myself.

• Seeing my best friend Liz finally take the leap and do what has been on her heart to do for an awfully long time, even though it breaks my heart (and I am not so secretly hoping it doesn't work out so I can keep her for myself).