On your marks, get set, go!

Today marks the first day of the 12 week body transformation.

I am so nervous about this journey.

Petrified that I will fail.

I am desperate to have a success story and an amazing 'after' photo.

We took before photo's and measurements last week.

It was not exactly a fun experience.

Like not at all.

But in 12 weeks I'll be glad to have to gross photo's to look back on.

See, now I'm all excited again.

I can do this.

I will ROCK it.

Bring. It. On.

PS: Look what we get to have for dinner tonight. It's in the oven right now. Smells delish.

12 week body transformation.

I've signed up to do the Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation.

I am completely 100% terrified.

I am afraid I won't be able to push through and do it.

I am afraid it will be to hard.

I am afraid I will fail.

I want to succeed so bad.

I want to be one of the success stories.

I want my boyfriend to notice the results.

I don't want to lose weight but still be skinny fat.

I want to firm up, tone up and change my lifestyle for the better.

As I typed that last line I was reminded that a friend of mine has been talking a lot lately about 'better'. That sometimes best isn't actually an option. But we can chose the better option. 

At the end of the 12 weeks I may not have the best body at the beach, but my life WILL be better.

my mind will be better

my body will look better

my body will feel better

my fitness will be better

my energy will be better

therefore my children's mother will be better

The bottom.

What's it look like from the top?

I can't tell you, but I can tell you what it looks like from the bottom.

I paid a little visit there last week.

It was not exactly a fun experience.

But I'm slowly crawly back up. Defiantly not anywhere near ideal functioning yet.

Head is off the ground.

It's a start right?

Yeah, let's say it is.

Well hello there....

Hello there my blog world friends.

Have you been well?

I hope so.

I've been missing, caught up in everyday life and exhaustion; but thought it was time to drop in and say hello.

I've been thinking today about how people influence our lives.

How people can just pop into our world for just a moment and change a part of who we are without even trying.

Expose us to new things. 

Show us beauty in places we hadn't experienced.

The friendship can be fleeting but the impact can last.

I guess the thing is making sure not to mourn the fact that it was only a brief moment you spent together and rejoice in the fact that you have now discovered a new joy, a new way to enrich your soul.

My soul has a new love and it's one no one would ever have guessed. 

xx

(no idea where image credit should go for this one. if you know let me know)

Bedroom Makeover part IV

I got fed up of waiting to do the boys bedroom makeover so completed "stage 1" last weekend. 

Here are so crappy before and after pictures for your viewing pleasure.

I seriously suck at taking interior photos.

Enjoy x

Before:

After:

No excuses.

Yesterday I started week 3 of C25K.

Week 3 includes 3 minute intervals.

That's right. For the first time I am counting my running in minutes not seconds.

It doesn't sound like much, but to me it is.

I did it. 

I did it on a day when I felt like my eyes were burning from the inside due to weeks of not sleeping. 

I did it on a day when a felt like I was drowning.

I did it even though I had to go back to the gym three times because someone else was always using 'my' treadmill.

And I was proud. Beyond belief proud.

I can't wait to built up the confidence to run outside.

Running on the treadmill makes me feel free.

I can only imagine what it feels like to run outside.

I've decided that once I finish C25K I'm going to go outside and complete Gateway to 8k which sets you up for 50mins of running. Yeah I know. I just did 3 minutes and I'm already thinking about running for nearly an hour. 

One can dream right?

Again.

I've been rather slack these last few weeks. 

That's what happens when I hit these dark times. I'm so over struggling with this stupid depression crap. Like really over it. I don't even get it. If I had some major traumatic childhood or something then at least there would be an obvious cause. Instead I'm just depressed. For no apparent reason. No matter how many times I fight it off it always comes back.

It pushes me down.

I fight back.

It knocks me down.

I get back up.

Again and again and again.

Like I said. OVER IT. 

I seriously hate that my kids have their lives effected by this.

I wanted their childhood to be filled with sunshine and lollipops and rainbows.Not a mother who bursts into tears for no reason and struggles to leave the house or even get out of bed some days. 

This is not what our lives are meant to look like. This seriously needs to change. It's time that this changes. But how many times have I said that?

I just want to scream at this thing F@#% OFF. Let me live. Like really live. Please.

The perfect lipstick.

I've been thinking lately that I'd really love to find my perfect lipstick shade.

Actually I really wouldn't mind having a collection for different occasions.

Currently I don't really wear lipstick. Not really. I have one. But I tend to put it on and then blot it off so my lips are stained but the colour is not super strong.

I wouldn't mind if my perfect lipstick comes from Chanel. 

It fact I'm rather hoping that it does.

My current lipstick is rather intense. Without blotting it off I wouldn't feel very comfortable in it for everyday wear.
Although if my confidence grew the perhaps I could handle it.
Here it is in all it's full strength glory.

Crappy webcam picture featuring my $2 Sams Warehouse lippy.

Doubt.

 

"Doubt means don't. Don't move. Don't answer. Don't rush forward."

Oh Oprah, you wise wise woman.

C25K

So waiting a week between runs that are meant to be every second day is rather slack. 

I used the treadmill instead of the road today. 

Find it so much easier being able to see my progress as I go along.

Last week doing day 1 I thought I would die and didn't even complete it properly.

Today I did it.

So I'm counting today as day 1 again because yeah, a week gap is too much. 

I feel good for the first time in a long while.

Guess that's why they suggest exercise for depression huh?